The Insanity of Men Walking on Water
by SincerelySincereSmile
Summary: I'm coming for lunch" it said. An old friend visits Luffy and Zoro, telling of adventures and things both within and beyond imagination. mild yaoi, ooc.
1. WarningDisclaimer

**Hiya! Thought I'd put this in as a chapter. Just to get over the warning and disclaimers and stuff. Hopefully y'all will like it XD**

**Warnings: light yaoi (well, more like shounen ai really, just some kissing and flirting and stuff.), cursing i guess (hence the T rating), spelling and grammar errors.**

**It is my first fanfic, so please be gentle XÞ**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and One Piece belong to their respective license holders, neither of which happen to be me, unfortunately.**

**So, if you happen upon anything that you don't know what means, or are confused, or just generally thing I'm awesome (XÞ) please review!!XD**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The straw hat crew was currently having breakfast.

Luffy and Zoro were wolfing down food like they hadn't eaten for days, Nami and Robin were displaying their manners, Chopper, Sanji, Franky and Brook ate with normal gusto, whilst occasionally sending disturbed glances at there Captain and first-mate.

Usopp was asleep in his eggs after a perticularily boring night watch.

It was, in all honesty, a truly unremarcable, boring morning.

It was when Zoro seemed to have eaten his fill and was leaning back that there was a small 'pop' and a plume of smoke infront of him on the table. Everyone froze, then turned to look at it.

As the smoke cleared, it revealed a small, red, two-tailed fox. Everyone stared. It was after a minute, and a small distictly annoying couging sound from the fox, that Zoro noticed the letter it was carring and took the letter from the small fox. Sid fox made a 'hmmph' sound and vanished in smoke. All of this completely escaped Zoro's notice because he was currently reading this small, seemingly unassuming letter.

Everyone watched curiously, waiting for him to give a reaction. They were a bit startled when he paled, then broke into an idiotic grin, reserved for those with good blackmail.

''Nee, what's it say, Zoro?'' Luffy, apperently, had decided that the silence was uninformative, and therefor broke it.

Zoro jumped abit, seemingly having forgotten about everyone else.''Huh...oh!....ehh...It's from Naruto...'' Zoro got no further, for the letter was suddenly ripped from his hands by a unusually serious-looking Luffy.

_Dear Zo-chan_

_Coming for lunch, heard your chief is pretty good, have him make ramen, onigiri and tomatoes. _

_Do not cook yourself. I'll bring the pocky and sake._

_Looking forward to catching up, say hi to Lu-chan._

_~Naruto_

Everyone watched avidly as a serious Luffy turned to Sanji, ''We'r having ramen, onigiri and tomatoes for lunch today.'' No-one dared sweatdrop, though the urge was there.

And as if by magic, the spell was broken. Luffy was again his hyper self, though a bit of a blush had found its way to his face, Zoro just looked vacantly at the table with a evil grin on his face, and the rest of the crew wondered just what the hell happened.

They finished breakfast, and the crew want each to his own, though most of the crew were still wondering who the hell Naruto was.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was approaching lunch-time. Luffy had gotten steadily more nervous as the day went by, and it was starting to annoy Nami. As the orange haired alost-woman neared her captain for questioning a deep, smoth voice, that sent chills down her spine spoke behind her.

''Hey, Zo-chan, Lu-chan. How'v you been?''


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

''Hey, Zo-chan, Lu-chan. How'v you been?''

Luffy and Zoro, who had been pacing quietly in their nervousness, and resting against a railing respectivelly, turned at the voice.

Crouching on the railing of the Sunny-go sat a blond-haired blue-eyed Naruto. Dressed in white capris with a multitude of pockets, a light blue t-shirt that seemed like a second skin on his muscled torso, three odd necklaces hanging from his neck, he looked just like the last time they'd seen him. Same chisled, aristocratic features, same whisker marks, same deep blue eyes, same shoulder-length spiky hair (think Yondaime), same bright orange bandanna, same drop dead gorgeus body. And a confident, joyfull small smile on his face.

The t-shirt allowed them to see the somewhat odd tattoo's on his forearms. They looked like black squiggly lines and spirals with interspaced figures. It looked to be many diffrent designs that interlocked. Under the sleeve on his left biceps, what looked to be the bottom of a circle could be seen.

The two gulped in unison as he stepped onto the deck. Everyone present had frozen the moment he spoke.

Naruto sauntered twords the two with a grace that most would find inhuman. He came right in Zoros face, tilted his own up, and kissed him. They stared in eachothers eyes, while they kissed. It wasn't a peck, but not a make-out either. The rest of the crew stared in disbelief,as they stood there and just kissed.

As they drew back, Zoro somewhat dazed and Naruto with a confident smile, Naruto said simply ''Missed'ya Zo-chan.''

Then he turned to Luffy and did the same thing. As they kissed though, Luffys hand snuck to the back of Narutos head, pressing him further, deeper, into the kiss, and opened his mouth. It became a bit of a make out, wich ended as they separated for air. ''I see you missed me aswell Lu-chan'' Naruto said with a chucle. Luffy just pouted abit.

The chucle evidently brought the rest of the crew out of their daze, for at that moment Usopp droped down from the crows nest. With a half-frightened half-bewildered look he pointed at at Naruto. ''W-whe-where did y-you come from?''

Naruto turned to him, an amused expression on his face, ''I walked.''

Usopp just sood there, the frightened expression disapating from his face, only to be replaced with more bewilderment. ''You...walked?''

''Yes.''

''On the water?''

''Yes.''

''Where from?''

''My boat.''

''Where is you boat then?''

''Over there.'' Naruto said, pointing at a now-visable little boat about 50 meters from the Sunny. It was orange and had a fox figure-head. There was a small cabin, with one visable window and a small door. The light blue sails accented the black flag wich flew from the mast. It had a Nine-Tailed grinning fox on it.

Nami stared at the flag. Something clicked in her mind. She spun on her heal and stared openly at this Naruto person. Pointing at him she uttered in a loud voice ''y-you-your, your the Nine-Tailed fox.''

Naruto just turned to her, smile still on his face. ''That I am,''he said, as if it were a fact,''now, lets have lunch.''


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

''Ne, Nami'' Usopp said hesitantly as the two walked behind Zoro, Luffy and Naruto and their way to the galley.

''What?'' Nami replaid tensely.

''Who's the Nine-Tailed fox?''

''Well, the Nine-Tailed fox is a pirate who jut sorta showed up on the Grand-Line. It's said that he dosen't really have a crew, but has loads of people bearing his mark. He hasn't really done anything the world government thinks is bad, but most pirates know to stay away from him. He's said to have some really mysterious powers and skills, but no-one really knows the full extent of them.'' Nami explained, taking a seat at the lunch-table they had now reached.

The table was set out with several large bowls of ramen, trays of onigiri and tomatoes. The combination seemed somewhat odd to the crew, but seeing the joyfull look on the guests face, they refraned from commenting.

''ah!'' Naruto suddenly snapped his fingers and started searching through his pockets. He stood for about a minute searching though his pockets while the crew watched. Finally he drew out a scroll with a triumphant 'hah'.

He opened the scroll, then bit his thumb and smeared some blood on the odd kanji and lines on it. The crew looked on, mystefied. Suddenly, with a poof simmelar to the one the fox arrived in, there were several boxes of both pocky and sake. ''Now, we can have proper lunch.'' Naruto said, sitting down. He grabbed the closest bowl and filled it with ramen. He was just about to start eating when he noticed that everyone was staring at him. ''What?''

''Ehhm...How did...you do that.'' Came the question from a somewhat frightened Nami.

''Do what?''

''Make the boxes apear.''

''Oh, that. That's easy, I had them in a storage scroll.'' Naruto replied, a if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which for him, it might have been.

''A..storage-scroll...?'' Usopp inputted, looking doubtful, but you could see the underlying exitement in his eyes.

''Yepp.'' Naruto chirped, either oblivious to the sceptisism floating around the room, or just plain ignoring it.

''What does it do?'' Usopp asked then, seeing as Naruto had offered no more information.

''Hm?...oh!...eh, it sorta locks things into a seperate dimentions using a chakra conduct, specifically, the seal.'' Naruto explained, serving himself a few onigiri to go with the large bowl of ramen.

Everyone just stared at him, trying to figure out what he said. Or, Franky, Robin and Usopp were trying to figure out what he said. Nami, Sanji and Chopper were a little stunned that he had just used such technical language. Legendary sort-of-Pirate or not, he looked like somewhat of an idiot.

Brook just didn't care.

''Ok....''Usopp said, his eyes a bit glazed, still thinking of all the possebilities of these 'storage-scrolls', and how they worked.

They sat in silence after that. The crew was absorbed in their own thoughts. The captain was watching their guest eat with a small, almost unnoticable, blush on his face. And Naruto was vacuuming up the ramen, slowly eating the onigiri, and almost reverintly savouring the tomatoes.

After what seemed like half a century to the, now somewhat awkward, crew members, the meal ended. Luffy was suddenly jerked out of his daze and started chatting with his rapidly dispersing crew. The effort was half-hearted, as his eyes kept gliding back to Naruto.

''Ne,ne, Naruto? Wanna go fishing?'' Luffy asked, a bit more quietly then his usually laud demands, the slight blush still stubbornly clinging to his face.

''Sure. From here, or my boat, or mabye we can go to Kian, fish there.'' Naruto asked in return, setting the dishes he had been carrying down on the counter, and perfectly confusing Luffy.

''Kian? Where we first met you? Isn't that in East-Blue? How are we going to get there?'' Luffy tilted his head in question.

''Well, I have my ways.'' Naruto winked as he walked out the door and onto deck.

''OI!!! STRAW-HATS!! I'M STEALING LU-CHAN FOR A BIT!!!WE'LL BE BACK SOMETIME TONIGHT!!!ZO-CHAN YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO IF ANYTHING HAPPENS!!!!!'' Narutoshouted, showing off his impresive lung capasity.

That done, he turned to Luffy, lifting him up onto his back and muttered a quiet 'Hold on tight.'.

Luffy did as he was told,wrapping his arms around Narutos neck and locking his ancles around his waist. The blush returned with re-inforcements, and he didn't realise they were moving till Naruto jumped of the side of the deck.

The rest of the crew, that had been in a state of minor shock that someone was taking their captain, and announced it to them, recovered in time to run up to the banister, and see Naruto land perfectly on the water. Standing there calmly, as if it were an everyday occurence, Naruto slowly began to walk tword his little boat.

''Is...wha...how...when...what...he..he...He's standing on the water! He's _walking _on the bloody _water_.'' Usopp was stuck somewhere inbetween hero-worship, running for his life, and torturing the man for all his secrets. The others had simmelar reactions, though less vocal, exept for Chopper, as he seemed to have gone into a inor panic attack at the sight, and was currently running all over the place.

The crew watched as the two boarded the ship, and went into the cabin. Almost as soon as they were out of view, the whole crew rounded on a peacfully napping Zoro.

Nami punched him in the head to wake him up.

''wha...huh?'' came the intellegent responce, as Zoro sat up. He staired questioningly at the multitude of faces surrounding him for a moment. Then the onslought began.

''What was that! How did he just appear like that! We didn't see his ship till he was here! I didn't even know you know him! How did you meet! Why the hell was Luffy acting like that for! Who the hell eats ramen with onigiri and tomatoes! How can he walk on water! What was that scroll thing! What was....How did...Why were....'' As the rest of the crew kept going, talking into eachother, asking questions that blended together into one big blob, Zoro felt the intence desire to run himself through with his sword, just to get away fro the noise...At leangth he decided against it, as it would be far more trouble then it was worth.

Zoro stood, and waited for the steam to run out of his fellow straw-hats.

After another 10 minutes of question-blob, he decided to shut them up himself.

''Ok, how about this. You each get a question which you ask, one at a time, and I will try to answer.'' Miracles do apperently happen, as the crew shut up to ponder their one question.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As Naruto stepped onto the deck of the small ship, Luffy took the opportunity to look around a bit. There was a plain wooden deck, a small, orange painted cabin, and a mast.

He was bored already.

Luffy watched as Naruto approached the single door to the cabin. He was somewhat confused when Naruto sliced his palm a little, then cupped it, making the blood pool in his open hand.

Then it glowed a soft blue.

Luffy had always wondered at the glow that Naruto sometimes used. He'd never asked though, he was afraid that he would sound stupid.

He didn't want Naruto to think he was stupid.

We watched a the blue glow became brighter. He'd seen the glow in three colours, and wondered if he had more. He'd seen blue, when he opened doors, or those weird paper cylinders. He'd seen red once or twice when he was angry, when innocents were hurt.

Luffy had only seen the violet glow once. He never wanted to see it again.

As Luffy was contemplating this, Naruto smeared the glowing blood on the door-handle. A few of the weird squiggly lines, like the ones on Narutos forearms, appeared, glowed white for a second, then vanished.

Naruto opened the door, as if he hadn't just bled all over the handle.

''Well, come in, come in.'' He said, holding the door open.

As Luffy entered the cabin, he took it in. It didn't look much like a place a man spent all his time. It looked more like a work-room. But that didn't make sense, so Luffy stuffed it to the back of his mind, and focused on memorizing what the space looked like.

Small kitchenette under a window, a small, perfectly made bunk bed on the opposite wall, an open trap door with a ladder, going into the hold, and a small bathroom, visible through a second door by the ladder.

There were a few more of those weird paper cylinders, and a few odd bits and bobs, like black knifes, and knife-stars. Writing tools and letters. Newspaper-clippings and what looked to be sewing equipment.

He was so keen on taking in all the details of the space, he didn't notice Naruto walk up to one of the small stacks of paper-cylinders, he must remember to ask what they were called, and smear a bit of blood on it, making it glow the same blue then open.

It had the same weird lines on too.

He spread it on the floor, the walked over to Luffy, lifted him up and placed him onto one side of the lines, then knelt on the opposite side. He gathered more of the blue glow in his hands and slammed them down onto the center of the lines.

In a flash of blinding light, both of the vanished.

* * *

It was remarkably quickly that the Straw-hats decided on their questions, of course, by then Zoro had, yet again, fallen asleep.

Nami hit him over the head.

''Hm? Oh, you guys got yer heads in order now?'' he asked, yawning. He looked at them, waiting for the questions.

''Ok, we all have our questions, so I'll go first.'' Nami said, taking instant control of the situation. ''Well, my question is; How did you two idiots meet someone as amazing as the Nine-Tailed Fox?''

''Hm, how we met Naruto? Well, we actually met him only a little before we met you. The first island we came to before the whole Buggy mess. You see, he had recently set up a cabin in the mountain, which I found while exploring the terrain,''

''You mean you got lost Marimo-head.''

''shut up ero-cook, as I was saying, I was exploring the terrain and I came upon this cabin in the mountains, not too far from town. And, seeing how tired I was, he invited me in for tea.

Eventually Luffy managed to find us, in that way he always does, you know.'' All the straw-hats nodded knowingly, except for Brook, who did not have enough experience with Luffy's rescue operations.

''Right, so Luffy burst in there, and, seeing us all calm and drinking tea, asked if he had any meat. Now, you know any sane person would have been shocked, or disgusted by Luffys eating habits, but Naruto wasn't.

He asked if we had anywhere to stay, and when we said we didn't, offered us a place to stay for the week.

And that, is how we met Naruto.'' He finished, with en exasperated sigh. It was clear that he was withholding details, but the straw-hats knew that if he wasn't saying something, they shouldn't push it.

''So, whats next?''

''Well, I would like to know how he can walk on water.'' Choppers shy voice broke in.

Zoro took on a thoughtful look, ''Well, I don't really know how he does that. I asked him once, he just looked at me for a bit, and told me it was a secret from his home country, and that I couldn't do it anyway.'' Zoro looked a bit miffed at the fact that he had been rejected but seemed to understand why he couldn't learn the secret.

''Oh...ok then.'' Chopper looked a little sad that he couldn't figure out the secret, but he recovered quickly.

''Hmmmm....I have a question now. What was with that lunch? Ramen I can understand but onigiri and tomatoes with it? And what was that odd thing he had, poky? Pooky? Pocky? Thats it pocky, looked like a chocolate biscuit thing. It was an odd combo.'' Sanji looked at Zoro for explanation.

''Ah, well, apparently it has something to do with his old lovers. Apparently it's like some sort of tribute or something. I don't know the whole story, so I'm not sure, but he has a habit of requesting it whenever he appears for lunch.''

''Oh! Me next, me next!'' Usopp waived his arms frantically, trying to get the already captivated attention of his crew. ''How did his boat just appear like that? I mean, I was on watch, and there was nothing. Nothing, for miles. And yet he suddenly appears on deck and his boat is suddenly there.''

Everyone looked at Usopp curiously then, for they had not known that the boat appeared suddenly as well.

Zoro scratched the back of his head, taking on a somewhat sheepish look. ''Well, I don't really know. Though I'm guessing it has something to do with why he can walk on water.''

''Well, I have a question of my own then,'' Brook said, taking a sip of his tea.'' why was our dear captain acting so oddly around Naruto-san?''

Here Zoro grinned, setting everyone on edge. ''Oh, that. You see, darling little Luffy-kun, happens to have quite the crush on Naruto.''

Everyone blinked at this new information. Then unanimously decided that they really didn't want to know, and continued with their questions.

* * *

When they re-appeared, they were in a cave.

It was a beautiful place, with smooth walls and floors, the light playing on the different minerals embedded everywhere.

There was no furniture, but there were scrolls everywhere. Each rolled up, neatly in stacks, and each with a place written on it. There were several maps hanging on the walls, and spread over the floor.

Naruto did not look twice at any of this as he walked to an almost unnoticeable doorway on one wall, beaconing Luffy to follow him on the way.

And follow him Luffy did.

He was silent as he followed the blond through what seemed to be a corridor, occasionally glancing into the rooms they passed.

There was a forge, and blacksmithing equipment in one of the rooms.

Another seemed an odd kind of office, with scrolls, ink, brushes and sketches spread haphazardly.

One room just confused him, for it was like a vast hall, large enough to fit the Sunny-go several times over, with grooves and scratches and rubble everywhere.

The room next to it was a hot-spring, with several plants growing evenly, basking in the sun from a sky-light.

There were a few rooms that seemed to be closed, with large slabs of stone hiding the doorways. They too had the odd squiggly lines on the. But these ones seemed more complex then the ones he had seen till now.

He gave up on peeking into the rooms after the eighth one. He merely focused on Narutos back in front of him, willing his eyes not to slide lower then the shoulders.

He barely realized that that they were going upwards until they stood at a trapdoor, Naruto put a foot on the first step and climbed to the door, whisking it open and vanishing into the light.

Luffy just stood there for a moment, till he heard Narutos voice shouting at him.

"Come up would'ya, or are ya gonna stand there and gawk all day, Lu-chan?"

Luffy hurriedly made his way up the ladder, half falling and tumbling, until he made his way into what looked to be a basement.

Cluttered with numerous unmentionables and boxes, Naruto looked at home at once.

"AHA!!!" came the victorious shout from one of the piles. Naruto emerged holding two fishing poles in one hand, and a box of what looked to be fishing equipment in the other.

He roughly made his way twords the staircase on one wall, mumbling about evil socks and actually getting around to cleaning up.

Luffy took it as his cue to follow.

They emerged into a cozy one floor house, that Luffy distinctly remembered as the one Naruto lived in on Kian.


End file.
